6: Stillness For Steel-ness

Okay, so steel-ness is not a word

But I hope the wordplay worked

I’m in need of some quiet time

I should make time to meditate and be still

But I haven’t done it in a long time

I keep putting it off. There’s never enough time

Yet my inner person is craving it

So why do I avoid something I crave so much?

Because I fear it at the same time

I worry that I won’t like who I find waiting for me within if I took the time to look

I’m worried that before steel-ness comes from stillness, it will break me first

Perhaps it’s all the frustration I fail to to discuss or disclose for fear of upsetting others

Or maybe it’s the disappointments I bury deep inside to help me better cope with life

Who truly knows?

The inner me does

I know this may all be too hippie dippie for some. Too woo woo for others and even bizarre for another set of people but this is me

I’m a mixture of urban black boy meets spiritual interests, centred and grounded in creative exploits

I can pretend to be someone else, something else but it would never satisfy me in the end

So stillness it is

At some point I will overcome the fear of what lies beneath the surface and decide to take a look

How bad can it be?

Be well

SRZ

Be Still

Stillness

Sometimes I write from experience

Most days I theorise on what I think about this world of ours is about and how things could or should be

Currently, my life is becoming more demanding and busy, yet my strategy for facing this somewhat demanding phase hasn’t changed. I haven’t taken stock of the fact that life is asking a completely different question of me, one for which, if I am to succeed, I must come up with a much better answer

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