Okay, so steel-ness is not a word
But I hope the wordplay worked
I’m in need of some quiet time
I should make time to meditate and be still
But I haven’t done it in a long time
I keep putting it off. There’s never enough time
Yet my inner person is craving it
So why do I avoid something I crave so much?
Because I fear it at the same time
I worry that I won’t like who I find waiting for me within if I took the time to look
I’m worried that before steel-ness comes from stillness, it will break me first
Perhaps it’s all the frustration I fail to to discuss or disclose for fear of upsetting others
Or maybe it’s the disappointments I bury deep inside to help me better cope with life
Who truly knows?
The inner me does
I know this may all be too hippie dippie for some. Too woo woo for others and even bizarre for another set of people but this is me
I’m a mixture of urban black boy meets spiritual interests, centred and grounded in creative exploits
I can pretend to be someone else, something else but it would never satisfy me in the end
So stillness it is
At some point I will overcome the fear of what lies beneath the surface and decide to take a look
How bad can it be?