45: Make The Time

You once genuinely loved this people

You once spent all the time in the world with them

These people were your friends. A family away from family

A place to call home

Inevitably, life creeps in. You all become busy, some of you become successful, others….not so much

Ego creeps in. It suddenly becomes competitive rather than complimentary partnerships

Words get said, pages get turned until those that you once held dear and close to your heart are now on a completely different page to you

And all the while your time continues to be taken up by things that in the end rarely will you be glad you spent so much time on

If you’re lucky, one of you will make the effort. One of you will wisely drop their ego and reach out to a friend

We all need those friends that love us despite our shortcomings. Friends that stick with you even when you’re behaving unreasonably

And if you’re wise as well then you begin to make the effort to find time, to not allow life to drag you away from everything that truly matters

Find the time

Make the time for the people who make your life feel that little bit more better, more enjoyable. Complete

Be well

SRZ

54: No title

“So, imagine you had to date someone who is basically you but a woman, would you enjoy that experience?”

She sits across from me in a atmospheric gourmet pizzeria in central London

I realise that I’m perspiring. There’s been a heatwave in the UK but I’m not convinced that’s the only reason I’m starting to sweat

“Interesting question” I begin, I follow this with a a mumbled response about my good and bad qualities as a partner and how for me, dating someone like me would likely not be a great experience

The convo goes in so many places within the space of 3 hours that it’s mind boggling

She’s a creative, I’m a creative. She’s as spiritually minded as I am and we both seem to gravitate towards ” what do you think we’re here on this earth for?” type of questions

Connections like these leave a lasting impression on me

By the time we finish eating, an idea comes to mind

Inspired by our conversation, a storyline begins to take shape in my mind. I tell her about it. She gets super excited, it seems we’re on the same page on that too

She wants to act in it (she’s an actress by profession) so we improvise a scene on our way back to the station

It works. It’s like these characters already exist and like she told me, “you just have to bring them to life, I know they’re in there” she smiles

Who says men and women can’t be genuine friends?

Okay maybe we can’t

Be well

SRZ

53: Just Be A Friend

My friend recently became homeless

It seems she got into a disagreement with her mum over god knows what and this led to her being kicked out of her parents home

Only problem is she’s not alone, she has a young child to look after as well

Being a single mother without a roof over your head can drive a person crazy with fear and panic

She’s not in the best place right now and yet when offered help she defiantly said she’d find her own way

I had to admire her tenacity to do whatever it takes to find a way to look after herself and child

I felt helpless in a way

What can I do?

That question ran through my mind countless times as I sought out ways in which I could be a support to a person I considered ‘friend’

I didn’t want my ‘help’ to come across as patronising, demeaning or humiliating in any way

How do you help someone in need without stripping them of their rightful dignity and respect

The only answer that came to mind was to let her know that the option for support was there

She wouldn’t need to feel forced to take it but it’s worth knowing that there are options

When a person is in a place where they feel like their backs are up against the wall, it’s very likely that they also feel like they have very little to no option

That they lack for choice

That can lead any of us to do things that in normal circumstances we would never even allow to enter our minds

It causes people to behave ‘out of character’

The least someone can do for a friend in this type of situation is remind them that they do indeed have options

They have choices and have people in their corner, willing to stand in the gap between them and their troubles

Sometimes, more than money or anything else, people just need to know you’re in their corner, on their side and walking with them in their time of need

They will figure the rest out on their own, in due time

All you need to do is just be a friend

Be well

SRZ

36: Connect

We haven’t seen each other in a while

So after a lot of back and forth and rescheduling we finally caught up

And it seems a lot has been going on with her

Many painful life set backs that she’s had to deal with

I genuinely feel bad that it’s taken us this long to find time to connect

This is someone I consider a good friend, thankfully she has many good friends and a loving spouse to support her through her time of crisis

But I could of been one of the people there for her too, if I only I’d thought beyond myself, my goals and me, me, me as I often do and considered that a friend my need me to let them know that they are cared for

We had a brilliant night, filled with laughter that can only come from two friends completely comfortable around each other

I should do this more often

We all should

Make sure you connect regularly with those you consider important

It’s for your own good

Be well

SRZ

Time Changes Every

At one point in time, I thought I loved her

At one point in time, she caused me a lot of pain

At one point in time, I thought I’d never speak to her ever again and yet all this time later, there we were giving each other warm hugs as we meet for the first time in a long while

“So, how’s life been?” She says – she’s smiling, eyes are still as bright as I remember them, pretty much everything about her feels the same, in a good way

But yet, everything’s changed

All the bad feelings I harboured because of her are fully gone. Now she’s a friend, a genuine, warm and accommodating one at that

I told her to meet me after work because I knew ‘we’ tend to talk at length but I didn’t expect the time to fly by so quickly, 5 hours in a blink of an eye

And we still had more to say, just not enough time

How quickly things change

Perhaps this was what we were always meant to be – I thought and felt differently before but somehow she always knew

I wonder what else I could be very wrong about?

I wonder what else, in my life, time will come and rectify or transform?

I like to tell people “it gets better” because I want to believe those words to be true

The truth is, it doesn’t always

Sometimes it gets worse

It did with me and her, it got really bad, we completely couldn’t be around each other – or was it, I couldn’t be around her?

I couldn’t stand the pain – I didn’t like it or appreciate it at the time but it did cliche ‘make me stronger’

I just couldn’t see it at the time

We talk simultaneously at times, without missing what the other person is saying

She wants to know how the films are coming along and when I’ll release anything

I want to know about her business and how she’s holding up

Marriage and relationships inevitably comes up. It’s no longer awkward

There’s a lightness to our talk and yet we talk openly and deeply about what’s really going on

I notice that we can now communicate more authentically than before

Time changes everything

Whatever phase you’re in now

It will change

Time can be wasted, invested or shared but it can never be saved

It keeps moving forward

And so should we

SRZ

No Strings Attached

letting go.jpg

“Sometimes you piss me off!”, her voice is usually gentle and warm

Not today

“You know what Nicole, like, right now I don’t need to hear” I begin before Nicole interrupts me (again)

“And the thing is, it doesn’t even matter what I say because come next week, or next month, you’re gonna be right back here again, doubting yourself, not believing in yourself and allowing another girl to walk all over you. what’s wrong with you?”

I can feel her anger across the phone

Best friends have a way of cutting through the superficial and speaking to the core of your dysfunction.

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