The Negotiation: PT1

Day Forty Nine

I’m sick of you and your bullshit. You’re lazy, inconsistent, and unsuccessful, at least not as successful as you would be if you did everything, I asked you to do.

I don’t care what you want, you’re going to sleep less hours than you need and workout for 2 hours then put in another full days work and after that, you’re going to work on your dreams and there’s nothing you can do about it! 

Continue reading “The Negotiation: PT1”

Only what I think Matters

The mind is a powerful thing to waste

That title would make me come across as arrogant and self centred but bare with me as I’ll be really brief today.

In life there is a dichotomy of things we have control over and things we do not. The amount of things we do not have control over often far outweighs the things we can control.

Life circumstances are not within our control, neither are the actions of other people.

We can’t control the weather, the political climate or financial stability. Events happen to us and we have no choice but to live through them.

That being said, here is what we do have control over, every single time no matter what. We can control what we think about the things that happen to us.

I may not be able to control someone walking away from me but it’s totally in my control what I think about them walking away.

I can’t control a racist person calling me a racist slur but that doesn’t mean I have to immediately lose my cool, feel sad or retaliate. I have the incredible power of being able to choose what I think about it.

That should be an empowering realisation for all of us. Since what we think about any given thing determines how we feel and how we feel determines our quality of life.

Our power to choose what we think is therefore the key for me to determine the quality of my life.

As an addict, I’ve tried many times over the years to stop watching porn only to return back to it, 2 days, 3 weeks, 3 months later.

When the relapse would happen, what would follow would be a lot of guilt, self pity and beating myself up.

This was never helpful. it only made me feel worse about myself and therefore to make myself feel better or even just feel numb what do you think I would do?

That’s right, I would go and watch more porn. This created a vicious cycle. And the only way to stop it was to change my thinking about myself, my addiction and what it all means

I am worthy.

That was the phrase, those were the words that changed things around for me. Recognising that I am worthy of everything good life has to offer.

That I am worthy of happiness, joy, success and prosperity just like anybody else.

I am worthy and only what I think matters.



Reclaiming Freedom

Addictions turn you into an involuntary puppet

Day Eight

Humanity has always strived for it. Developed nations are supposedly built on it and everybody in the rat race is chasing it.


One of the most misunderstood words. I’ve always assumed that my freedom meant that I could do what I wanted when I wanted, therefore proving that I am indeed free.

Yet, I’ve quickly come to realise that freedom has tighter parameters than bondage. Think about it. How much harder do you need to work as the CEO of your own business vs being an employee?

How much discipline do you have to demonstrate when chasing your dreams vs walking down the beaten old path, travelled by most?

I get frustrated to be an addict, to have cravings that if left unchecked would consume me.

I despise the idea that something as minuscule as sugar or something as intangible as lust could have such control over me.

Who wants to be controlled? Who wants to live in bondage? Who wants to be imprisoned by anyone or anything?

Nobody does. I know I certainly don’t.

So to reclaim my freedom I must create limitations, the only difference is, these limitations are self imposed.

In order to be free, I must cage myself to prevent myself from self harm. I chose to stick to a tighter schedule where I read more books, set my goals and chase my dreams because in doing so I begin to become the person I aspire to be.

Claiming my freedom means letting it go, choosing to actually do any and everything that I want only has the appearance of freedom but in no other way is it actually freedom.

True freedom comes at the price of self imposed restrictions.

I’m willing to pay the price