It could always be worse, be grateful that it’s not.

Day five

I’m grateful to be sober today. I’m grateful to have great friends and family. I’m grateful to be employed. I’m grateful to have dreams and aspirations that this pandemic hasn’t destroyed even if it’s delayed some of it.

My friend sent me a message yesterday, a very simple one. Keep going he said. That was all I needed to hear.

Writing this blog on this occasion is to help keep me sober. I’m not paying attention to the readership although I appreciate anyone and everyone who stops by.

So I often just assume that nobody is reading that way I will keep my intention pure. I’m doing this for me to become better.

That said, when you get a message that tells you that you’re doing something right and you should keep going, it’s encouraging to say the least. So, bro, if you read this, thank you 🙏🏾

I’m grateful

I have much to be grateful for. Much to be hopeful for. Much to be expectant about even as the start of this year feels like an overspill of last year.

It will pass.

It always does

But gratitude has staying power. Long after the gesture, the experience and even the person has gone. Your gratitude for them, for it can still remain.

It’s a choice

I don’t have to wait for something incredibly amazing to happen before I choose to exercise my gratitude, in fact I don’t have to wait for anything at all.

I can just choose to find things to be grateful about.

I’m grateful for my sobriety.

I’m grateful to be alive

I’m grateful to whoever reads this.



34: Dead Time

Imagine being locked away from society because you needed to be rehabilitated?

That’s what each prisoner is doing while in jail, or at least that’s the idea. The time spent in prison will help them make better choices when they finally come out

We all know that hardly ever works, at least not for the majority of prisoners. Instead, once released, the inmate will most likely find a way to end up right back where they now feel they belong


Continue reading “34: Dead Time”

26: Discover True Value

Luxury cars can cost £250,000 minimum. Some homes have been sold for 50 Million, yet in this world it’s also possible to find people willing to take a life for less than one grand

It seems our society has a huge disparity in what we deem as valuable

The value of life can never be quantified, not in its truest essence and yet it’s the one thing we all at one point of another devalue the most

What do you value? How much would you be willing to pay for it?

Is it worth the price you’ve valued it at?

If it is then please, by all means, pay the price for it

It doesn’t matter whether everybody agrees with you or nobody does

The barter system of ancient civilisations still exists but it’s just become more sophisticated

Now, more than just exchanging goods for in kind services or similar goods deemed of equal worth, we can inflate as well as deflate the worth of pretty much anything

Including you

Your worth can be inflated by yes men, a good streak of luck and a massive ego to go with it

On the flip side your true worth can be deflated by negative people who put you down every chance they get, circumstances that make you feel stuck

Both scenarios can cause a person to have a distorted self image where they lack a true understand of their value

Both scenarios are unhealthy

Both scenarios can ruin a persons potential and ultimately life

So, take the time whenever purchasing anything to assess whether the value quoted is worth it

This much I know

You most definitely are worth it

Be well


19: Ego Is The Enemy

So I’ve finished reading ‘The 4 Hour Work Week’ by Tim Ferris and now I’ve picked up this

I’m already 5 or 6 chapters in and in my opinion Ryan Holiday is a genius, for the simple fact that he probably would despise being called a genius

So far in Ego is the enemy, I have discovered that our lack of success in relationship, chosen career and ultimately: Life! Comes down to one simple thing: EGO

As I read this book, my own ego is taking a beating, left, right and centre because I recognise myself in the many anecdotes Ryan uses to illustrate the points he’s making

I am discovering just how focused on outward ‘success’ I have become as opposed to doing good work because it benefits everyone to do so

As I move through the chapters, my entitled mentality, my need for recognition and desire to be ‘better’ than, have ‘more’ than others begins to rise up to the surface

I don’t know how I’ll feel by the end of reading this book but as I progress through it right now, one thing is certain, I’m finally reading a book that feels timely to my life experience right now

If I have any hope of side stepping my ego so that I can truly do things that matter even if only to me, then I think I need to internalise this book

I used this view to contemplate the things I had learned today

Be well


12: Become a Prosumer

We live in a capitalist society

We also live in a world where we are told that we are not enough and marketing companies exploit that fact

Every week there’s a new miracle diet, cosmetic line, fashion trend. In other words, a new special something to solve all your problems

If you feel you lack something, worry no more because here comes the news honey thing that will fix that lack in your life


There’s nothing wrong with it. I love the latest gadget, clothes and other stuff

But if that’s all I did

If all I ever wanted was to consume, consume, consume then guess what? Eventually all that consumption would consume me

At least I’d feel it in my bank account

Here comes that word again, balance. Something needs to balance out all that consumption


You need to be a producer. A producer creates, they bring something of value to the market place

Producing something will make you wealthy. However you measure wealth, money, love, loyalty, health. These things come from production not consumption

A productive individual actively works towards making things happen

If you produce nothing, you’ll earn nothing. If all you do is consume, eventually you’ll be consumed

But if you merge the two, you can comfortably be a ‘prosumer’ – a hybrid of of a producer and a consumer

That means you not only write the checks but you produce the paper it’s written on! Think about it

Close the circle between producing and consuming and the wheel will keep turning

You consume too much food and produce no energy output to balance it out and watch your body mass expand until it causes health problems

Even having money without letting go of some results in a hoarding stingy heart. Why do you think the wealthy are philanthropic?

The yin and yang keep the balance of man

Produce, consume then produce again

Be a prosumer

Food for thought

Be well


10: Invest

See everything you do as an investment

At least that’s what I’m starting to tell myself

It’s time to juggle my dreams with my day job and my personal life and none of them seem to be letting up

See all of it as an investment

Every effort

Every hour past quitting time at the day job

Every choice to do the things that I once out off

It’s all a big investment that will pay off some day in the future if I don’t get tired and give up

The first corporate contract that I write about winning is now demanding that I fulfil the big talk I gave to obtain it in the first place

I’ll need to invest time to deliver on that contract.

My new script fell to the wayside and now I’ve decided that I’ll have it done by this Sunday, why? So I’m forced to write

I’ll need to invest time to make that possible

Just like my money, I can waste or invest my time. Only one of those choices will give me a fighting chance of seeing returns

I’ll invest

Be well


9: You Already Know

Deep down you do

Your gut instinct is never wrong and if you think or feel that it is, it’s probably more a sign of you not trusting yourself anymore having previously not listened to your own gut

“How could I of been so wrong about this?” Every heard someone say that?

Ever been the one to say that yourself?

Have you ever been so wrong about someone? Only to later say, “you know what, deep down I kind of already knew she/he was like this”

Relationships of any kind are based on trust. You want to believe that the person is who they say and are portraying themselves to be

You want to trust that their yes really does mean yes and no’s really do mean no and that “I do” and “I’ve got your back” and “we are family” all mean what the person saying them really thinks and feels

The problem comes when your gut instinct tells you otherwise. When you’re seeing one thing but feeling something completely opposite, be mindful of this

Don’t ignore it

Deal with it head on, speak up, explore, investigate further until you prove yourself right

A word of caution: sometimes your fears, doubts and worries can cloud your judgment. That feeling is not gut instinct, that’s just plain old fear and it can cause you to self sabotage great things in your life

It’s the untrusting partner accusing their trustworthy significant other for no other reason other than in the past they were burned and now they don’t trust anybody

You’ll lose

Anytime you allow fear to take over you, you will eventually lose out

A knowing gut instinct feeling is different, it rarely screams at you and it doesn’t cause you to panic….it may make your heart sink because every time the thought comes to mind you wish it wasn’t the case even though deep down you know it is

It may cause you to appear to be acting blindly and irrationally by those on the outside looking in, but you’ll know that there is a reason for your actions because intuition will guide you

Deep down you already know

So trust whatever it is you know and act accordingly

Be well


6: Stillness For Steel-ness

Okay, so steel-ness is not a word

But I hope the wordplay worked

I’m in need of some quiet time

I should make time to meditate and be still

But I haven’t done it in a long time

I keep putting it off. There’s never enough time

Yet my inner person is craving it

So why do I avoid something I crave so much?

Because I fear it at the same time

I worry that I won’t like who I find waiting for me within if I took the time to look

I’m worried that before steel-ness comes from stillness, it will break me first

Perhaps it’s all the frustration I fail to to discuss or disclose for fear of upsetting others

Or maybe it’s the disappointments I bury deep inside to help me better cope with life

Who truly knows?

The inner me does

I know this may all be too hippie dippie for some. Too woo woo for others and even bizarre for another set of people but this is me

I’m a mixture of urban black boy meets spiritual interests, centred and grounded in creative exploits

I can pretend to be someone else, something else but it would never satisfy me in the end

So stillness it is

At some point I will overcome the fear of what lies beneath the surface and decide to take a look

How bad can it be?

Be well