I hate my boss

Day Thirteen

Anyone else hate their boss? Anybody else have a boss like mine where without fail, everyday you’re made to feel like crap, like you’re not good enough and you just don’t measure up?

I’m sorry for you if you actually do have a real life boss making you feel like this.

The boss I’m talking about are my habits.

They used to run me and definitely made me feel like trash. I could never measure up to the idea of who I thought I should be.

Side note: ‘should’ is an awful word to impose on yourself and others.

Don’t ‘should’ over anyone.

“You should be further ahead, why did they get promoted when it should have been you? You should be eating better, you should of been included? You should be married by now, you should have children by now, you should be a gazillionaire by now!! Should should should should…..”

But there is no should. There is only what is. And I hate the inner voice that tries to convince me of what should be happening in my life but isn’t.

Horrible boss.

So now that’s my habits, my inner critic and let me not forget my addictions.

Porn. Sugar. Binge worthy entertainment.

All these bosses that I absolutely hate having over me.

And the reason why I hate them is because it’s not the natural order of things, I am the master, these things are supposed to serve me. My inner critic is supposed to help me see where I can do and be better then allow me to act on it, not bully me into feeling inferior.

My habits are my servants, helping me to automate my life and perform daily routines with minimal conscious thought. They are not supposed to keep me trapped in a cycle of mediocrity.

And as for my addictions…well, I shouldn’t have them in the first place should I?

Did I just should all over myself?

Needless to say. I resign.

I’ve decided to be self employed. No bosses for me.

I am responsible for my life. I refuse to have a boss internally controlling me.

I’m grateful to be sober today



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