6: Stillness For Steel-ness

Okay, so steel-ness is not a word

But I hope the wordplay worked

I’m in need of some quiet time

I should make time to meditate and be still

But I haven’t done it in a long time

I keep putting it off. There’s never enough time

Yet my inner person is craving it

So why do I avoid something I crave so much?

Because I fear it at the same time

I worry that I won’t like who I find waiting for me within if I took the time to look

I’m worried that before steel-ness comes from stillness, it will break me first

Perhaps it’s all the frustration I fail to to discuss or disclose for fear of upsetting others

Or maybe it’s the disappointments I bury deep inside to help me better cope with life

Who truly knows?

The inner me does

I know this may all be too hippie dippie for some. Too woo woo for others and even bizarre for another set of people but this is me

I’m a mixture of urban black boy meets spiritual interests, centred and grounded in creative exploits

I can pretend to be someone else, something else but it would never satisfy me in the end

So stillness it is

At some point I will overcome the fear of what lies beneath the surface and decide to take a look

How bad can it be?

Be well

SRZ

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