39: When Love Isn’t Enough

A friend of mine is being hurt by her husband

By hurt, I mean physically which of course has all the emotional and mental ramifications to go along with it

I sat and listened to her detail her story of pain, disappointment and somewhat disillusionment with love, marriage and ultimately life

It’s unfortunately a case of love not being enough

I feel slight guilt for even writing about a real person, going through real, difficult problems. After all, this is a person I care for and consider a true friend so her pain will effect me too

I thought about the amount of hopes we place on love – the notion that it will somehow save us from the drudgery that life can sometimes be. That love will take away a persons insecurities, destroy all memories of failure and past dysfunctions and in its place bring joy, success and happily ever after

Movies certainly seem to sell us on that

But what happens when we find ourselves in the depths of love and recognise that it is still lacking?

Sure, extreme situations like my friend’s above are red flags in anyones books but what about the mundane relationships? What is a person to do when their partner is neither abusive or negative or even bad for them, in fact, the relationship in of itself, works really well

It’s just not enough

I would imagine that hopefully, if you are a thinking person then you would come to the wise conclusion that love does not define you and should never be a definition of you or your entire life

Love, like anything else, if not worked on, cared for or nurtured, will eventually die

The same is true of passion for a craft, joy in the use of a gift or talent and even enjoyment of a hobby

Everything fades into decay unless we intervene through our efforts

So Love of anything could and should never be considered as enough

Love will never be enough

Your dreams and your pursuit of those dreams should not be solely based on the love you have for them becoming reality. You shoot yourself in the foot if you do that because of course, how you feel about said dreams will fluctuate on a day to day basis

Some days you will not want to do anything on behalf of your dreams, other days, you will feel so overwhelmed with a sense of being behind and not moving ahead in life that your dreams will only be a reminder of how far away you are from everything you want

And of course on other occasions, you will be flying high, your mental and emotional states will be aligned and it will feel like any and everything you try to do, can be accomplished with ease – these occasions are called ‘inspired moments’ and yet even those moments are beyond your control – they happen when they happen, with very little input from you

So what are we to do?

if love isn’t enough, talent is enough, having dreams isn’t enough, pretty much meaning nothing will ever be enough, what are we supposed to do?

Work at it is the current answer I have

I feel, and this is just my personal opinion, that when we make anything the be all and end all, what we are actually doing is abdicating our personal power and responsibility and giving it over to someone or something else

“I don’t want to be in full control of my life so let ‘The One’ come find me and save me and make it all better”

“I don’t want to face life and it’s harsh realities head on so let me place more value on dream chasing than necessary so that if i achieve it, I can feel better than my peers because, lets face it, I will be better than them “

Not true

Nothing in of itself is enough – there is only one thing that is already enough but we overlook it without fail – every.time.

You are enough

You are good enough, talented enough, have enough love from within to really and truly be influential and make a difference 

You are enough but at the same time, you are also a work in progress, meaning you can become even better than you are right now

how?

WORK

Everything needs to be worked on otherwise it will atrophy, decay and rot

Love can never be enough – nothing outside of yourself ever truly could be enough – but if that passion, love and anything else is coming from the inside of you, not dependent on any external influence…..now that’s a different story entirely

Bringing it back to the beginning as i close – nobody deserves to have hands put on them, to be verbally, mentally, emotionally or physically abused

You are worth so much more than that – let it go, walk away if need be and get help

Never stay in an environment where you are tolerated rather than celebrated

You owe it to yourself

Be well

SRZ

 

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