Cravings: Day 11

I really want to order Chinese take away right now

I’m craving all kinds of food and I’m battling with using up more so called ‘cheat days’ or just soldering through

I know at least at the moment I’m struggling to do this diet thing all the way clean

Doing it clean, at least right now, would feel too repressive

But I don’t wanna make it any harder in my mind than it needs to be

It all starts in the mind, we can make mountains out of mole hills and vice versa so I want to make sure I’m using my mind as effectively as possible

I know that it’s gonna be a difficult road ahead without me making it even more challenging in my own mind

I had pancakes from McDonald’s this morning, ate healthy for lunch and haven’t had dinner yet so technically I’ve already ‘cheated’ (5 days left)

That doesn’t mean I should throw in the towel and just go nuts on bad food for the rest of the day

The cravings will come and go I guess and perhaps the more consistently I make the right choices, the less and less I will feel compelled to make food choices that do not move me towards my goals

I found it hard even writing that I had pancakes (oh and a double bacon and egg McMuffin) from McDonald’s

Why?

Because I don’t like the accountability, even though I’m aware of the choices I’m making and that I don’t want to be making them , writing it out loud is similar to being in an AA meeting and admitting I have a drinking problem

Me: hello I’m Serge and I’m a overweight ‘foodaholic’

Group: hi serge

Me: I’m really struggling with cravings for bad food and I’m burning through all my set cheat days because deep down I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to eat what I want and yet stay in shape, I don’t like feeling like I’m somehow depriving myself of the things that I want. Yet I also know that it’s not really about food, the food is just one form of self medication I use to feel happy in life. It’s become a bad crutch and I’m not sure how to heal myself enough to no longer need it. Some people have other crutches and each has its own destructive nature. Anyways, thanks for listening

Group: thanks for sharing serge

Whatever your vice or crutch may be, I hope you’re at least acknowledging that it is a problem and you’re doing whatever you know to do to let it go, walk away and become the person you know you can be

Be well

SRZ

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