Why You’re Ex Doesn’t Want You Back

So, the two of you broke up huh?

That sucks kid…

I feel it for you

Except….not really. I don’t mean to overlook your heartache but hey the truth sets people free and yet hurts in the process too

So perhaps there’s something valuable in not sugarcoating things and just telling it like it is

Tongue in cheek of course but still…the best jokes contain half truths otherwise you wouldn’t laugh at them

So, First things first

It’s not them, it’s definitely you

I don’t care what they told you:

“I’m just focusing on me at the moment”

“I’ve joined a covent for male nuns (totally different from priests) and I’m not allowed to date anymore”

“My dog ate my private parts (homework just wouldn’t cut it in a break up)”

“I just need to be on my own at the moment” (they really don’t, they’re desperate to be with someone…just not you)

“You make me feel uncomfortable” (okay, that one was true)

But the rest of it was a bid to save you from more hurt than is necessary, they wanted to be kind and let you down gently so they told you that whoever ends up with you will be lucky but apparently they detest being lucky themselves because here they are letting you go

And since the break up, you now have no friends. You did at first but there’s only so much listening to you complain and victimise yourself any sane person can do

Misery loves company and yet even misery wouldn’t spend time with you, that’s a sign my friend!

You are wallowing in too much self pity and a pity party of one is never any fun

Your job performance has suffered because of it. Your manager is sick of catching you cyberstalking your ex rather than finishing up that important document you promised to deliver two weeks ago

Everybody’s avoiding you now because you are not in fact you at the moment – you are a shell of your former self, someone that looks like the person you were, sounds like the person you were but is evidently not actually you

You are in ‘the sunken place’ (for my Get Out fans) – stuck in a psychological prison of your own making, all because you are placing more value on someone other than yourself

You now say pathetic things like “I’ll never be happy again” and “who’s gonna want me now?” – well, nobody at this rate, even you don’t want you and let’s face it, who wants to be with someone who can’t stand to live in their own skin? That’s a recipe for disaster

You my friend are in need of reinvention – the pity party is over (it wasn’t that good….nobody but you attended), the time has come for you to rediscover just how brilliant you are or perhaps right now its ‘could be’ situation because you presently feel anything but brilliant

Don’t worry – you will in due time

And when you do – everything will flip around full circle

That’s a promise

Be well



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