It Could Of Been Worse

Today I was in an accident

I cycle everyday to work and I must say sometimes I make stupid decisions when on the roads, thankfully those stupid decisions have never gotten me in trouble, however, I’m not the only one on the road and I’m certainly not the one capable of making stupid decisions

A driver in a parked car decides to open his door without paying attention to the passing traffic and BANG, that’s all it takes

Smash my head against the pavement (thank God for helmets) crack my knees on same said pavement and scrape my elbows too

Somehow, I’m able to immediately get up and get myself off the road but my left leg feels funny…as in painfully hard to stand on, lifting up my trousers I notice a massive cut just under my knee

Credit to the ‘not paying attention’ driver, he quickly is at my side, making sure I’m okay. He calls the emergency services who after interrogating him for a good 10 minutes, declare an ambulance will be out to us in…..wait for it…..2 hours….or there abouts…they can’t give us concrete times

The driver stays with me and offers his insurance details, I don’t take them, I’m not thinking about that right now, not in the mood to talk either

I don’t blame him, I’m not angry but I’m in pain….yet, I’m standing, no matter the pain, I’m standing…my eyes are dry…this is minor I tell myself

It could of been worse

My self talk kicks in

That’s all you’ve got? I ask life…. I’m way harder to kill than that! I don’t want to tempt fate and I don’t mean to not be grateful because I truly am

It could of been a lot worse

But it takes a lot more than this to stop me, a lot more than this to break me. I’m physically way stronger than I am any thing else, next is mentally, my mind doesn’t crumble that easily either so the only weakness that is easy to break within me is emotionally

And this is nothing worth triggering an emotional reaction from.

I’m built to last – I tell myself

God has his eyes on me and his hand forever protects me, I sense this, I feel this, I know this and I am truly grateful for this

It takes way more than this to stop me

I could of broke my neck – I didn’t

Could of smashed my head open – I didn’t

Not one bone broken

These are things to be grateful for

I didn’t lose my cool

I didn’t shout, scream, complain, or pity myself

I’ve clearly grown and it’s worth me stopping to note this, if I don’t, who will?

Yes I’m bleeding and yes my bike will need to be fixed but my life is in tact

I’m stronger than ever I tell myself

I’ll struggle to sleep tonight with this pain (I’m not one for painkillers unless it’s teeth related then I’m a big baby)

The adrenaline can’t and won’t last forever

Eventually the shock that protects me will subside and I’ll feel everything my mind and body has currently blocked out

There’s no denying it was a hard collision – I’ll definitely feel it

But I’ve been through worse – way worse and each and every time….I made it out that mofo…got to the other side and was stronger for it

Nothing but cuts and bruises I tell myself

What are you a big baby?

Nah, far from it! (Okay, sometimes I am…so what??)

But not this time

This time, I’m a spartan!

AAAHHHWWOOO

If this is all you’ve got 2018 then I will destroy you. By Gods grace, I will keep coming back, I won’t stop and you certainly won’t stop me….unless my God allows it

And he’s forever on my side

Yours too (dear reader)

Be well

SRZ

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