Choose Yourself

I have to constantly remind myself to do this

Everyday I’m presented with an opportunity to either choose myself or someone/something else. There’s a great book called ‘Choose yourself’ by James Altucher

I think he’s a genius 

Or at least, a very wise man but that wisdom has come from paying a high price in gut wrenching life experiences as he recounts on his blog and in his book. I encourage you to check him out if you get the chance

Anyway, so James, in this book talks about the art and science behind choosing yourself

why we should all do it and what happens when we don’t

“Don’t outsource your self esteem or happiness to the hands of someone else” James Altucher

I don’t know about you but I like to be liked

Sometimes (many times) this has worked against me

I find that I can often go out of my way to do things for others that I hardly would do for myself. I’m sure many of you are the same. It has been said that people will do whatever it takes to make sure they keep a commitment made to someone else than they would for a personal commitment made to themselves

Have you heard of Quora?

It’s a site that allows people from all over the world to ask a question and have it answered by complete strangers and I’m hooked

The questions I love reading the answers of are typically centred around regrets. I love reading the things people have deep regrets about because it’s very revealing of human nature

I’m truly amazed at the level of honesty some people answer these questions with – some discuss their regret in marrying their spouse, for others, its the opportunity they failed to take

Some regret being so concerned with what others would think of them that they made decisions that didn’t honour who they are

I read these answers and I’m amazed at how similar most people’s regrets are, it further validates a quote I once heard

“our most unique pain is universal” – Unknown

In other words, the things we think are unique to us as individuals, are often very much universally felt and experienced by all of us collectively


I hate being rejected, I hate it even more to feel rejected – there’s a big difference

Most people, judging by Quora answers feel like me, they hate to feel rejected and in their hatred or better still, fear, of rejection, most people step back and do not choose themselves

I wear my heart on my sleeve (so I’ve been told) and I can often be more transparent than I want to be but at the very least, it’s given me one thing that I value and cherish no matter what – a life of no regrets

There has never been a love interest who hasn’t been aware of my affections for them, some reciprocated, most did not.

That hurts

There has never been an aspiration that I failed to pursue, some of it worked out, most of it did not

That hurts

There has never been anything that I faced that I didn’t face head on, not perfectly, definitely not courageously but face it I still did

The hurt turns to self pride

But still I reject myself often

Opting to find someone else to make me happy

Someone else to do my work for me

Someone else to add meaning to my life and give it a sense of significance

I self medicate the loneliness with entertainment to pass the time, masking the insecurities with ambition and aspirations to validate myself

I run away from silence and stillness because I fear what may be revealed but yet I desperately crave it – I hesitate in writing this because I realise the majority of you may not relate to it at all but write it I must in order to honour myself

It doesn’t matter if you relate to my specifics

You have your own specifics that I may not relate to

It doesn’t matter, you should choose yourself as much as I should do the same for me

What does it mean to choose yourself?

It doesn’t mean a license to be selfish or self centred

It merely means you see yourself as the key and answer to your own life. That you place yourself in the driving seat of your life and trust yourself to do what is in your best interest because in doing so others will ultimately come to benefit too

Choosing yourself means self publishing your book rather than waiting for a publisher to choose you

It means, writing and performing your music, producing your film, creating your art and leveraging all that you are into tangible assets that you can bring to the market place

It means walking away from a bad situation

A relationship well past it’s expiration date

A job that no longer challenges you

You choose yourself when you understand from a very deep place that you are the hero of your own story and you are the person you’ve been waiting for your whole life

Then watch

Watch what you attract from that point onwards

I actually don’t know how true any of this actually is but in 2018, I’m willing to bet my life on it being true. If I’m wrong, all I lose is one year but, if I’m right…..oh boy

I choose me


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