“I’m pregnant” I tell her
She’s tickled by the thought
“Your stomach isn’t flat, that’s for sure but you don’t look pregnant” she responds through bouts of laughter
“I’m not talking about my weight, I’m literally pregnant”
She stops laughing long enough to contemplate what I’m actually saying and suddenly she has a confused look on her face
“But you’re a man” she finally says
“Men can be pregnant too”
She thinks for a moment then rolls her eyes, “okay, what’s the metaphor here?”
She knows me too well
Now I’m smiling, I’m too predictable it seems
“I’m pregnant with dreams and I’m desperately trying not to have them aborted”
“Hmmm” she considers, ” well in that case, I’m pregnant with quintuplets!”
Whoa, that’s a lot of dreams waiting to be carrying around
How about you?
Are you pregnant too?
Chances are you are very pregnant, perhaps on your third trimester, uncomfortably ready to push this damn baby out
But this post isn’t for you, this post is for those that have just discovered that yes, they are expecting
The dream has just been conceived and can easily be killed as it slowly develops
Everything has a gestation period
Some thing’s only take 3 weeks to ripen, like a hamster, while a human baby on average, takes 9 months to fully form
Once born, human beings take an expected 18 years to mature and be classified as adults (officially) but you and I both know people still making their way to maturity well into the 30’s and 40’s. Boys, I’m talking to you
When you have a dream, when you conceive the idea, be careful of two things:
- Dismissing it too early: it’s an idea, not a concrete, fully formed plan. It will need further development to become feasible in the long run. What the idea is now, if carried to maturity will look drastically different. So don’t dismiss it just yet, let it germinate a little longer
- Expecting too much too soon: don’t be like the couples that decide to have a baby in order to save the already struggling relationship. It’s not fair on the baby. Your idea requires you to make it grow, don’t expect it to save your life, pay your bills, make you feel better about yourself, or give you more self esteem. That will come in the long run as you pursue it but for now, your dreams need you to nurture it and grow it, not the other way around
By the way, I’ll use ‘dream’, ‘idea’, ‘baby’ and ‘child’ interchangeably on here – don’t question it, just go with it
Okay so you have your dream and now you’re on the look out for the things that can kill a dream before it develops to full maturity
I titled this post part one because there are a lot of things out there that can destroy your dreams in an instant but this first killer is a serial one, they kill dreams all the time, day in, day out
The first killer that you need to be extremely mindful of is….
There is no bigger killer of dreams than the parent. You will be the greatest obstacle to the survival of your own child
Your baby will become malnourished because you refuse to care for it
While for some of us, our child becomes obese because all we do is day dream and build sand castles but never actually do anything to make this dream a reality
Your decisions around your dream will be the ultimate determining factor of whether it manifests or not
Here are the four cancerous things no child or dream should be subjected to
Did your parents ever compare you to anyone? To a sibling, a cousin or some random kid they saw behaving the way they wanted you to behave so they used them as an example? What did that feel like? Did it inspire you?
Each dream, like each person is unique
Don’t compare your dreams to those of others. Yours may take longer to be birthed, so what! Dream anyway
Yours may be a teenage pregnancy and you feel too young, doesn’t matter, have the baby
For some it will be a baby that comes after their perceived childbearing years and they feel too old to try, please don’t abort that baby, it came to you for a reason, nurture it
so whatever you do, don’t compare it or yourself to anything or anyone else out there
Ever seen the parents that stand by the sidelines of a sports game, screaming at their kid? Red faces, steam coming out of their ears, sweat dripping from every inch of their body?
Yeah don’t be that person
Don’t have a baby so you can compete with other people’s babies. Don’t use your dream as a measuring stick for why you’re better than other people
It won’t make you happy in the long run
Why not? I thought competition was a good thing? I want my child to be the best they can be!
Absolutely, you should want to grow your dreams to become all it can be but you set yourself up for a fall when you compete against others rather than your own potential
Here is why
There will always be someone out there with more: resources, talent, contacts, stamina, belief. You can’t outwork, outsmart everybody and similar to comparison, when you compete, eventually, no matter how great you are, someone out there will come and out do you – just ask Myspace how they felt about that little site called Facebook
Especially of the none constructive kind
Words are powerful – so are thoughts, be careful how you use both when it comes to your dreams and ideas
Just as you can’t expect a human baby to thrive in an environment that constantly criticises and brings it down, your dreams wont stand much of a chance either
It may be taking shape longer than you want it to – no worries
Nobody else might believe in it, so what, its your baby, feed it and raise it your damn self.
I don’t expect people to take care of my children for me, I’m a man (same goes for a woman) I’m here to do whatever it takes to make sure the needs of my child are adequately met by me
How about you?
Similar to criticising is complaining which is just another word for seeking someone or something else to blame
“no one will support me!” “nobody wants to give me a million pounds to start my business” “nobody wants to blow my nose and make all of my problems go away!!”
This much I know – complaining has never resulted in innovative solutions – except for smart people who listen to what people complain about then find a solution to that problem
Think about it
How do you think Uber, Airb&B, Netflix and similar industry disruptors came into existence?
There’s pretty much an app for nearly everything people complain about
Can’t study? There’s an app for that
Can’t find a date? there’s an app for that
And so long as humans complain, someone will find a way to profit off of that
Complaining takes you off the drivers seat and says that you for whatever reason are unable to find a solution to this problem and it will kill your dreams quicker than a lack of money, knowledge and contacts combined
Take caution when giving birth to your dream, the first cause for concern is and will always be the person looking at you through the mirror. If you can get this person to avoid those cancerous activities, to have patience but most importantly to take action then you have eliminated the first and most deadly dream killer – You
But that’s just the start – more killers lurk in the dark – to be continued
Give birth to dreams
Dont abort them